I had a weird sensation this morning, and I believe it was something approaching happiness.
Finally, the endorphins from Spin class were working their magic, and I actually left the gym with a smile on my face. As a walked home to get ready for work I was confronted with a big orange sun, and the most gorgeous sunrise sky. I stared at it for so long that my eyes ached. It was beautiful.
After breakfast, heading towards the office I spotted a pigeon crossing my path. Except that unlike my usual associations with London pigeons (grey, dirty, mangy) this one was rather beautiful. In that egg yolk sunrise, the pigeon glinted a teal-aquamarine, like an exotic bird.
Was I just imagining it, or did the world seem a lovelier place?
When I’m down, I’m so bogged down in my own troubles that all I see is a monochrome world, where everything is terrible except for the things that are about to become terrible.
Even if I were blinded by the sun I wouldn’t notice the beauty of the pink sky.
It’s hard to pinpoint this improvement on any one thing. In my efforts to beat the black dog I’ve been exercising more regularly, trying to eat more healthily, sleep for longer. I’ve also been reading about mindfulness, popping my happy pills and making a real effort to get in touch with family and friends (usually the first thing I stop when I’m down). By writing about things, I’ve also been more focused on finding the optimistic view rather than my default negative.
So it could be any one of the above, or the combination of some or all of those factors. All I can say for now is, I think it’s working…